Just Eva

Visanne Brain

My body insists on still having a strong hormonal cycle despite the medical industry’s best attempts to crush it with synthetic pregnancy hormones. On a good day, the medication that stops the physical signs of my menstrual cycle just leaves me feeling depressed. On a bad day, it can cause my poor confused hormonal brain to come up with some spectacularly bad attempts at comfort.

Last night my thoughts started running around fretting about how I was going to die a sad, lonely, old person. Shortly after that, good old brain pointed out that wasn’t going to happen because I’m both in poor health and older than most of my friends and loved ones, so I’d most certainly die before them! Nothing to worry about!

You tried your best, brain. I’m so sorry I can’t stop taking the medicine that makes you like this.

Posted 296 weeks ago

Mansplaining Championships

Today Facebook decided to show me a memory where I complained of a migraine and asked how people I knew dealt with them.

One commenter chose to inform me I didn’t likely get migraines because his were so debilitating mine must just be a headache.

Flash forward to now, when I have a diagnosis of migraines with the caveat that I get many of the symptoms that aren’t pain (most times but not THAT one). I also know that at the time I was living with one diagnosed but not properly treated mental illness (general anxiety disorder) and two undiagnosed physical ones (one chronic, endometriosis, and one curable and now cured, hyperparathyroidism).

What a jerk that guy is. I’m glad in the intervening time I’ve decided not to keep him around.

Posted 298 weeks ago

I found out yesterday my surgeon wasn’t totally honest about the “temporary” nature of my upcoming illeostomy.

Now I have to get in touch with him and find out how likely it is that it’ll end up being permanent and decide if the surgery that might stop my pain (but might just leave me with new, slightly lesser pain, he says) and might leave me permanently unable to use my large intestine, is worth it.

Endometriosis is a horrible, bullshit disease.

Posted 328 weeks ago